Looking at trees
that line the drive
while long in perdition
my heart it cries
Enclosed in its wounds
her visage it lies
the inside is dead
not but skin left alive
Am I the same
a husk that still strives
pretending to live
as slowly it dies?
I’m looking at trees
for the end each supplies
patiently waiting
for the time to arrive
~ elr
I was not sure whether to publish this poem, due to the dark nature of the content.
It was finished April 12th, 2013 at 6:15 PM ET in the Cleary University parking lot. It came out, as is, after a difficult day and a long, emotionally exhausting ride home.
During the drive I was “looking at trees” on the side of the road. Looking at them in much the same way as I had done so many times before, as an out, an end. This time it was different. I am no longer depressed, no longer looking for the end of this life, but I felt that this time, as I revisited those memories and felt those feelings, I would express it, get it out.
I have found that if I talk, or write, about something that hurts or scares me, things I fear or am ashamed of, I am able to move past them. In this case, I have.
I will not look at trees in the same way as I had before. But I have peace, knowing that I have left that chapter of life behind me and moved on to a place where I have hope.
Image: IDs 72197845 © Kozirad and 19621731 © Yali Shi (composite by elr) | Dreamstime.com