Magic Hour (Life with Dad)

Life comes in waves but it settles in seasons. This section of my website is dedicated to enjoying the happier moments of walking through the 🍁 Fall 🍂 of life with my father. It is becoming abundantly clear that being his primary caregiver will not be easy. In fact, I know that there will be days where I will laugh, cry, scream, and quite possibly fall apart, all within the span of a single hour.

It is for this reason, I have decided to chronicle some of the more heartening and humorous (a relative term) moments with my dad, as I take on this role. I know that the days will come, where I will need to be able to look back and smile, giggle, and regain perspective, because sometimes life isn’t easy and we all need a laugh once in a while.

…and even in the midst of our struggles, we can still see the beauty if we are looking for it.

Over the last couple of years, I have spent the night at my dad’s house, when he needed to go to the doctor early the following morning, or needed to be monitored over night after a procedure. While there, I noticed that he was connecting with a handful of stuffed animals that my mom had collected, including a few teddy bears, a small stuffed gorilla (George), and an adorable moose with a hooded jacket. One day, as we walked around the house, Dad mentioned that he will occasionally talk to them.

At this point, I think it is important to explain that my mom passed away in April of 2023, which is around two and a half years ago. Sadly, about a year ago, his beloved cat, Lulu, passed away. There is a cute story about how Lulu came to live with them. I will share that story at a later date.

Knowing that my dad was lonely and had, historically speaking, rarely talked about his emotions, I took the opportunity to open that door wide. I mentioned that it is healthy and comforting to talk with stuffed animals when we are lonely or going through an upsetting time. I told him about my big stuffed gorilla, named Joe; after Mighty Joe Young. I explained that Joe has been a help to me, especially as I went through my divorce and dealt with the loneliness that followed.

It was then, that he took it to the next level and said, “I would like to meet Joe sometime.” 💗

In that moment, I realized that my dad (who has a strong case of Aspergers) was growing, or at least showing an empathetic response to my need for comfort. This was rare for him, and especially to this extent.

The next time I visited, I brought Joe with me and my dad did something quite unexpected; he smiled and commented on how “neat” Joe was, then said, “Hi, Joe.” and gave him a big ol’ hug. After that, we walked around the house as he introduced my stuffed animal to all of his. 🥰

This morning, Dad set his alarm, so he would be able to, “Give you a hug and say goodbye when you leave.” I was up early because I was heading home to attend the monthly writers’ group meeting in my hometown. When I stepped into the living room, I heard my dad shuffling about in the kitchen.

Dad: (groggily) “I am having trouble.”

I immediately think he is referring to his declining cognitive state, or, perhaps, he is having difficulty walking this morning.

D: “I am missing your mom, so I snuggled Moose last night.”

M: “Oh, that’s good. Did it help?”

D: (a light smile graces his lips) “Yes. It was comforting.”

M: “I am so glad.”

OMG, my heart felt every bit of that. ❤️‍🩹

In some ways, I can see how this season of Dad’s life will be the “Magic Hour” in our relationship.

 



~ elr

 

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